World Suicide Prevention Day

11 months ago I went through one of the hardest seasons of my life. I had been dealing with intense anxiety and also depression, the latter of which I didn’t recognize at the time because I had never dealt with that before. I was doubting God’s goodness, and feeling like a fake, because on the outside I was trying to act like I had it all together, but on the inside my mind was in chaos. I thought I had to act like I had it all together, that if I wasn’t perfect then that meant I was a failure or that God didn’t love me. For what would happen if I told someone all the thoughts in my head? Surely they’d see something was wrong with me and wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

Then I went through my second breakup in less than a year, and it felt like the rug had been ripped out from under me. Everything around me looked dark and hopeless, and getting out of bed became hard. It felt like so many things were hard in my life, and I started to believe the lie that because I wasn’t perfect, that God didn’t love me. I wanted to give up. I felt like it was the only escape from the mental pain I was dealing with.

But God. God wouldn’t let me give up. He gave me some amazing people in my life who encouraged me to keep going even when it was hard. They were there for me even when I pushed them away. And I’m so thankful I’m still here. I’m thankful I didn’t give up.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. If you’re feeling alone or hopeless, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Life can be really hard sometimes, but I want you to know the God of all creations loves you unconditionally and has forgiven you for all your sins. There is nothing that will ever change that. When depression screams at you saying that no one would miss you if you left, that you’re a mistake or worthless, don’t believe its lies. The truth is you are a beloved child of God, and He has an amazing purpose for your life. So don’t give up. Keep on fighting. Ask God to give you the strength to get through this day, and the next, and the next day after that, because He will.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, please tell a trusted friend or family member. You can also call or text the suicide lifeline at 988. Please don’t give up, friend. You’re such a light, and are so loved. Keep on fighting.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

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